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M Simone Boyd

Idle Threat

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Morris and I saw an inspiring documentary last week, Idle Threat. It explained the threats posed to the environment by running your engine for minutes at a time while your car is in park. The film was shown at a community center in our neighborhood in conjunction with the environmental film festival.

I know what you are thinking, how is that inspiring?

Well, the 60-minute film is centered on George Pakenham’s one-man fight against idling in New York City. George fights idling by knocking on the car windows of unsuspecting idlers, explains the hazards to the environment, the associated fines for idling in New York City, and asks them to turn their engine off.

 Based on his reports, 80 percent of offenders turn off their engines. However, it is the responses of the other 20 percent that make for a funny and entertaining movie.

Mr. Pakenham has documented more than 2000 interactions with idling offenders, lobbied the New York City Council to enforce the current idling laws, and won by having parking enforcement officers assigned to write tickets to idlers.

I found this movie inspiring, because Mr. Pakenham is making a difference in the world…something I want to do too. So, it got me to thinking.

Am I passionate about anything? Is there anything I am willing to talk about  everyday to complete strangers? As a christian, I know what the answer should be…but I feel like I am really falling short by comparison to Mr. Pakenham.

Being Busy

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Being busy is almost a status symbol in this city. And, it can be argued that busy people are important people. I once fell into that line of thinking.

My days once started at 4:00 a.m. with medium length runs of 5-8 miles. During the week days, these runs were followed by a day of work, social outings with friends 2-3 nights a week in the evening, and trying to get to bed by 8:30ish. During the weekends, my long runs were followed by community service or church. At one time, I was working with six non-profits in the city–writing, tutoring, organizing, donating, mentoring, fundraising and whatever else I could do to fill up my time.

I think I latched onto this life style of being busy for two reasons. First, there was a lot of stuff I wanted to do before getting married i.e. learning to cook, being in the best shape of my life, and managing my finances well. Second, I wanted to experience everything city life had to offer and that kept me busy. Here is a page out of my October 2009 agenda:

But, in early 2011 a friend gave me a life-changing book entitled Next Generation Leader. The first chapter “You Are Doing Too Much” was a wake-up call. The chapter explains that the less you do, the more you accomplish and that the secret of concentration is elimination.

I got it! By cramming every free minute with activity, I was giving up the valuable time I needed to focus on my purpose for being on earth. So, I began dropping things. I gave the hospital a year notice that I would not be writing for their publication anymore. I gave the community college a semester notice that I would not be tutoring. I turned down a role in the women’s ministry at church, and I decided that I would be intentional in intertwining my commitments with my purpose. And, I’m doing better.

A year and a half of dropping things is paying dividends. I feel less pressure, I have time to sit and think, I no longer feel perpetually tired, and I no longer have the nagging feeling like I am always on a deadline. But, most importantly, I feel like I am working towards my purpose in life–to help rebuild families…beginning with my own.

The Text Message

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The text message read: “Family, Conference call tonight at 8:30 p.m. Please call in.”

 My heart sank, and I felt uneasy. I knew it was going to be bad news.

This brother had NEVER set up a conference call before…so it could only be bad news. At the end of the conference call the news had been revealed: He was going to be a dad in March.

He is my third brother and the most gentle and kind of them all. In a house of ten, he usually waits to eat last.  He laughs a lot and loves to dance. And my friends describe him as approachable, even though he is 6 feet 8 inches tall. He is two months away from college graduation, and had plans to play basketball overseas. He has no career. No money and no way of supporting a child.

I have grappled with this bad news for weeks. At first, I was livid. How could he be so foolish? How could he shame our family like this? Second, I was sad. Because this is not how I envisioned my brother’s life going. I had hoped he would graduate, go overseas, play basketball, make a lot of money, come back to the United States, get married, start a family, and be the bestest and coolest middle school history teacher ever.

I know that sounds crazy…you can’t plan someone else’s life.

But, I realized something today. I have plans for all of my siblings lives. Not detailed plans, but hopes for them. I want them to excel and do well in life. I want one of my sisters  to be the best women’s basketball player ever and I want my other sister to achieve her dream of being an architect. I want my first brother to have a job that he loves and make a lot of money, I want my second brother to be an award-winning broadcast journalist, I want my fourth brother to finish school, focus, and find out his purpose in life, and I want my fifth brother to graduate from high school and play division I basketball and not talk to girls so much for the fear that he’ll end up like my third brother.

My third brother has started a family, and his son will be he in a few weeks. And, I am proud of the strength and courage he has exhibited. He wants the baby to live with him, and he is seeking custody. He is more focused and determined than I have ever seen him. He is working on the weekends, he is on the track team, studying in the early mornings and late at night, and attending classes during the day.

The arrival of my new nephew is quickly approaching. Even though, he wasn’t in my plan for my brother’s life…I take comfort in knowing that God’s plan for my brother’s life is much better than mine.   My hope now is to be a loving aunt and supportive sister.