I was listening to a sermon by Dr. Joseph Warren Walker III several years ago and he talked about building ships. Ships are our relationships, courtships, and friendships. And as we stand at the beginning of 2015, I’d like to ask that you set goals for your ships.
I did this for the first time in 2013, and one of my goals was to write two letters a week. As a result, it healed a broken relationship with my younger brother. He says that the letters were encouraging to him because sometimes he doubted if anyone ever thought of him.
The experience was eye opening for me, because I thought about my brother twice a week… but he never knew it. It turns out; he is not a mind reader. And setting a ship goal helped me understand him.
As with all goal setting, we must set goals that are Specific, Measureable, Actionable, Realistic, and Time-Bound (S.M.A.R.T.). Here are a few goal-setting rules I adapted from Michael Hyatt. He is the former CEO of Thomas Nelson.
First, only write 3-5 goals. Studies show that our productivity decreases as the number of tasks increases. So, try and keep things simple.
Specific and Measureable goals are easier to attain, because we’ll know whether or not we hit the mark. An example of a bad goal would be: have more time with my daughter. An example of a good goal would be: read to my daughter 3 nights a week.
Start goals with an Actionable verb (i.e., “quit,” “call,” “write,” “eliminate,” etc.) rather than a to-be verb (i.e., “am,” “be,” “have,” etc.).
Our goals should also be Realistic and Time Specific. Goals should stretch us, but they must be reachable. An unrealistic goal would be: meet every living member of my extended family. A realistic and time-specific goal would be: meet 4 new members of my extended family by December 31, 2015. Michael Hyatt says that “A goal without a date is just a dream. Make sure that every goal ends with deadline.”
The key to building relation-ships we can be proud of is being intentional. And that’s what we are doing when we set a ship goal. We are saying “this relationship is so important to me that I am going to invest my time and energy.”