M Simone Boyd
I realized something a few months ago. This blog has been all over the place Japan, Jury Duty, Goals, etc. The original intent of this blog was to introduce me, my family, and our antics. I have introduced Michaela (one of my two sisters), Issachar (one of my five brothers), and my Dad. However, I think this blog has disproportionately been about me and Phillip.
 |
| The Capitol Pre-Inauguration |
 |
This Band was filmed in the movie Lincoln |
 |
| Presidential Impersonators (Right to Left): Lincoln, Roosevelt, Jefferson, and Washington. |
 |
| Inauguration 2013 |
I like to begin the year by setting new goals. I set my goals based on the person I hope to become. For example, I hope to be a good wife and one of my goals is to play a sport with Phillip. I also want to win a Pulitzer Prize and two of my goals involve writing. I like to think of each year as a step toward living an extraordinary life.
However, there seems to be a trend that is down on goal setting/new year’s resolutions. After talking with a few friends, the sentiment seems to be that setting goals is setting yourself up for disappointment.
I learned that I have to set goals based on my input, not an expected output.
Last week, Morris and I made my last student loan payment. And then, we had a dance party! Paying off that debt is the realization of a dream for me, because the $43,807.49 I owed Sallie Mae seemed insurmountable four years ago. But now, that mountain is behind me.
My Dad and I are more alike than I care to admit. And, as I get older I realize our similarities are something for which I should be grateful. I’m getting there.
For the past ten years, our relationship has been a bit strained because my dad is adjusting to having adult children. But, last week I saw my dad in a new light.
I went to home for the 20th anniversary of the Family Foundation Fund. The Family Foundation Fund is a non-profit my dad started to mentor boys from fatherless homes. 63 boys have been mentored. But, the Foundation is much more than a mentoring program. There is an organic farm to provide produce for the families the program serves, tuition is paid for the boys to go to private Christian schools, tutoring is provided, counseling and support is given to the mothers, and the boys are matched with a Christian man that sticks with them until they graduate from high school. In short, the Foundation is a Family for young men.
Last week, I realized my dad has dedicated his life to serving others. It takes determination to stick with a program like this for 20 years. There have been times when the families have faced tragedy. And times, when there was no money for tuition. And times, when the boys have been kicked out of school for misbehaving. But, my dad is determined.
We have had boys come to live with us when their home-life became turbulent. My dad has picked up prescriptions late at night. And, he has visited hospitals because no one else cared…because he is caring and compassionate.
Whether you are a multi-millionaire calling for advice or a man dying of HIV. My dad will be there and he will listen and he will pray for you, because he is genuinely concerned with the lives of others. I hope when I reach my dad’s age, I can look back over my life and know that I made a difference.
I have read The Pursuit of Excellence two or three times now, and every time I read it I learn something new. The book discusses goal setting, the importance of mistakes, the perils of the status quo, and being creative.
I have been setting goals consistently for five years. I set my goals in January, in June and July I evaluate my progress and/or adjust my goals. November and December are generally crunch time. And, crunch time is where I am now. My 2012 goals are:
1. Eliminate Debt At one point, I paid $360 per month in interest to Sallie Mae. Sallie Mae and I are not friends. Morris and I paid off $28,000 of debt this year, and we will make my final student loan payment this month.
2. Finish Rosetta Stone Spanish This goal changed to Finish Thank You Notes for Wedding Gifts and Get a New Job. Our friends are incredibly generous and kind. I know that etiquette says your have a year following your wedding to send Thank You Notes. However, I want thank folks as soon as possible. I have 28 more Thank You Notes left. I do not have a new job, yet.
3. 200 Blog Followers I did not meet this goal. However, I would like to thank Adrian, Angel, Byron, Diann, Jordan, Heather, Monica, Michaela, Nan, Quinn, and Rachel for following this blog. I am grateful for your support.
This is a hard goal to quantify. But, I try to accomplish it by living a life that will be pleasing to Jesus. This year I visited someone in the hospital that I didn’t know. I wrote letters to friends and family members when they were hurting or to simply tell them that I loved them. I gave money away. I texted and called people just to tell them I was thinking of them. I watered my neighbor’s garden, although I’ve never met him personally. Six of our friends joined our church this year.
6. See Japan Done.
* I lost 4 pounds of the 8 pounds that I planned to lose before Thanksgiving.*
Morris and I picked out our Thanksgiving bird today. I named him Thursday, and he will be the crown jewel of our 1st Thanksgiving meal as a married couple. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, because it includes my favorite things: family, food, and fun.
At home, my mother cooks the turkey, stuffing, macaroni & cheese, and the pecan pies. My dad and I make the yeast rolls. Isaac and Rebekah make the mashed potatoes and banana bread. Israel makes the Sock-It-To-Me-Cake (a recipe that is four generations old). Immanuel makes rice crispy treats. Michaela, Miriam, and Issachar make cookies and cakes. Honey Baked makes the ham. And, I can’t remember what Isaiah makes. But, you get the idea…everyone contributes something to the meal.
It’ll be tough to be away from my family for Thanksgiving. But, Morris and I still plan to have a feast. Our planned menu includes: Candied Yams, Green Beans, Kale, Yeast Rolls, Macaroni and Cheese, Stuffing, and Apple Pie. We are going to wait and see how everything turns out before inviting guests.
I have asked myself this question over and over again for the past year. And, the past few months have been especially challenging. Almost every day is a battle to get up, be there, and be cheerful. Almost every conversation with a friend, family member, or Phillip ends in me disparaging my work. ( Forgive me for that…I am going stop it.) And, at least once a week I end up crying in my office with a sinking feeling that I am trapped and will never get out of this crummy job.
In all fairness, my job is not all that crummy. I have a wonderful boss and I love most of the folks that I work with on a daily basis. I make more money than I ever thought possible at this age. I am off every other Friday, and I have a beautiful walk to work. So, why am I bored and miserable?
The past year has lead me to one answer. My job is not a good fit for me. I love people. I love talking to people, learning about people, and helping people. And, I need a job that allows me to do that. So, I began the quest for my dream job in June.
My dream job has not materialized. But, I have met some great people in the process and my friends and family have been both patient and supportive. I made the decision today that I am going to be grateful for that. The new job will come when the time is right. Just like everything else.
*I gained back the two pounds that I lost last week. Booooo me.*