M Simone Boyd
The Day Sonny Died has been out for over a year, and I probably should have mentioned the hashtag sooner. (But social media is just not my jam. One day, I’m going to upgrade to a smart phone. Then maybe it’ll be more of my jam. But today is not that day. )
Okay, back to the film project.
It’s only 2:26…and I’m not sure it even qualifies as a film. But here’s 12 photos with captions (that I think) are funny. …
Have you ever been in a situation where the room goes silent, everything is in slow motion, and despite the fact that there are 30 to 40 people in the room you realize…you are the center of attention?
Perhaps that’s happened to all of us. We realize, we should know something that we just don’t know. …
Me too.
A few months ago, Morris and I were waiting in line to buy movie tickets and there were 4 people ahead of us. Initially, this was not a problem. But, ten minutes later the line had not moved at all. It was a perfect storm: one cashier, a group of six, seeing several movies, and they had credit card trouble. So, I panicked and began giving the cashier dirty looks that screamed “Seriously?”
…
I opened the refrigerator door to discover that two bags of frozen vegetables had been removed from the freezer, opened, and placed in the refrigerator.
The bags of vegetables were identical.
Both bags were clearly labeled: KEEP FROZEN.
Yet, the vegetables had been left in the refrigerator.
This was a major problem. And, I was furious.
Only one other person lives in our 300 sq ft studio apartment. So, I knew immediately knew who to blame. …
And, waiting for Mr. Right to find you takes the patience of Job. You may wonder things like “God, are you really working on this?” Or “Did you know that I am not getting in younger?”
At least, those are the questions I had.
…
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| Image | David Wygant |
I had a problem when I was single. I didn’t know how to talk to guys. I know what you are thinking. “Simone, you are the farthest thing from shy?! What was your problem?”When it came to guys that I thought I might like…I had a bad habit of ignoring them. I got all nervous, and couldn’t think straight, and couldn’t make coherent sentences.
In other words, I lost all sense of normalcy. So, I resorted to ignoring them in an effort to keep from saying something completely stupid.Here is a typical conversation that I might have had with a guy that I have no interest in what so ever.
Conversation A
Simone: Good Morning, Titus! How are you?
Guy A: Good, Simone, how are you?
Simone: Well, thank you. Did you have a good weekend?
Guy A: I did, but I didn’t do much watched the game, hung out with some friends, and went running. That’s about it.
Simone: Sounds like you had a good weekend! I went running too, but the heat made it pretty tough. I’m going to try and run earlier next weekend. Are you training for anything?
Guy A: Yes, the Marine Corp Marathon. I’ve run it a couple of years in a row.
Simone: Whoa! That’s awesome. I dream about doing a marathon one day, but I’m not there yet. Congratulations on setting that tremendous physical goal, Titus. It was good to talk to you. Have a good day!
Guy A: You too, Simone. See you later.
Now, for the conversation with the guy that I thought I might like…but I had no idea because I’ve never had a decent conversation with him.
Conversation B
Guy B: Hi Simone! How are you?
Simone: Well, thank you.
Guy B: Did you have a good weekend?
Simone: Yes, thank you.
Guy B: Oh, what did you do?
Simone: Nothing much, just hung around.
Guy B: Well, that sounds nice. Have a good day, Simone
Simone: Thanks.
Why on Earth did I do this?
Things worked out in the end, and I wound up with my dream man. But, it turns out I’m not the only one with this problem.
If you too get a case of the heebie jeebies when it comes to talking to guys… try these 3 tips:
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| Image | USA Today |
Yehuda Fishkind, a Certified Financial Analyst, came to my job a few years ago to conduct a Financial Planning Seminar for new hires. At the beginning of the seminar, he explained that he was Jewish and that he was here to talk to us about money…so we should listen up.
No argument on my part. After several intense hours of pouring over different retirement plans we took a break for lunch. So, I seized the opportunity to get some one-on-one coaching for my tax situation.
You see, I’ve lived in both Tennessee and Texas where the folks down there have the good sense not to have a state income tax. And, I never realized before what a difference not having a state income tax can make to the take home pay. I explained all this to Yehuda.
Yehuda: Are you investing the maximum pre-tax amount in your 401K?
Simone: Yes
Yehuda: Are you taking the deductions for your student loan interest?
Simone: Yes
Yehuda: Do you contribute to the Health Savings Account?
Simone: Yep
Yehuda: Hmmmm, You should get married.
I can’t remember how I responded to that, but I do remember thinking “Seriously, is that the best advice you can give a single girl?”
| Image | recovery.org |
A few years ago my dear friend and colleague, Marie, came to my office. I could tell by the way her eye brows were furrowed that she meant business. She edits my work too. So, my first thought was “Lord, what have I done now?”
She sat down and began with the usual pleasantries. “How are you? What are your plans for the weekend, etc. etc.” I explained (nonchalantly) that I was going to run, hang out with some friends, see a musical…the usual.
And then the boot dropped. Marie was here to stage an intervention for my dating life.
“Simone, do you even want to meet a guy? I mean, have you even asked God where you can meet guys? I mean to date…not to evangelize. Seriously, he’s not going to show up on your door step wearing a t-shirt that says ‘I’m the one.’ Simone, I don’t think you are taking this stuff seriously because if you were…you would be trying to make yourself available. Its going to take two years you know. One to date and a year to be engaged. Have you thought about that? I doubt it. Because clearly, you’d be frustrated if you had!”
People, I cannot make this stuff up.
So, after an hour of “counseling.” We agreed that I would make better decisions on how I spent my time. The goal was to make myself more available to meeting guys.
As a good faith effort, I decided to go to a fireworks display that Saturday night, rather than a musical. Let’s face it there wouldn’t be any eligible bachelor’s at Mama Mia .
However, I didn’t tell Marie that I spent Friday night…in my apartment…reading a book until 4:30 a.m. That would have landed me another tongue lashing.
Thank God for Marie, though. Being available is a big part of the dating game. And, she knew what she was talking about too, because less than two years later…I was hitched.
Spiritually speaking, my college years were dark. And, when I look back on those years I shudder. Because, I entangled myself in bad relationships and situations that could’ve ended in a number of dire situations.
Thankfully, the Lord used those years to teach me priceless lessons. And, God has used my story to free other women. Looking back, I can see that it was all about rebellion.
Rebellion from the lessons of faith I had been taught growing up. I thought I was running into freedom, but I was actually running into destruction. And, it took a long time to untangle my soul from the men I had attached myself to. My road to redemption started with me telling my dad that I didn’t want to live that kind of life anymore. But, it was still a long road from there.
While living in El Paso, TX with my grandfather, I began dating my first Christian guy. I had it all planned out– we were going to get married. He went to church and loved Jesus. That was enough for me. Let’s seal the deal.
I didn’t know it at the time, but he had asked my dad if we could get married. And, we had only dated a few months. My dad’s response was “let’s see what happens.” Not, exactly a vote of confidence. There were a few red flags, but nothing I couldn’t “sort out” once we were hitched.The relationship seemed to be going well until September of 2007.
And, then the boot dropped. He gave me an ultimatum. Was I going to stay in El Paso after school or move away?
And, I…I didn’t have an answer. I wanted to be open to God’s will. I didn’t want to commit myself to El Paso! My life was just starting. And, I said just that.
And, he broke up with me.
I was crushed. I cried and listened to Jennifer Hudson’s “And, I’m telling you I’m Not Going” for about 3 weeks. And, I watched Mahogany with Dianna Ross for the first time.
The good news is that I survived. And, God continues to use my sordid past and my terrible break up for His glory.
Romans 8:28 says that: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. God didn’t intend for me to experience those things. It was my disobedience that led me down that path. But, He can use it all the same.
I swore off men for three years after my break-up. And, the next man that I dated was Morris, my awesome husband.
During that dating hiatus my relationship with the Lord grew strong. I prayed more. I studied the Bible more, and I began paying off debt and running half marathons. God used my dating hiatus to strengthen me personally. And, heal my heart from relationship wounds.
I read a book this month entitled, The Waiting Room by T.C. Spellen. It is a 31-Day Devotional for single women waiting for the right husband. I loved this book, because it is a spiritual roadmap to preparing for marriage. T.C. includes discussions on:
These are things that I learned during my dating hiatus. But, I think T.C.’s book could’ve helped me recover from the Mr. Wrongs and prepare for Mr. Right a lot faster.Question: How have you recovered from the Mr. Wrongs? And, what’s your strategy to prepare for Mr. Right?
PS: I’m hosting my first relationship workshop next month. I’d love for you to come. You can buy a ticket here.
This week I am reading, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen R. Covey. The book has great advice on how to be intentional within the family unit, and I’ll post a review in a few days.
In the meantime, I want to share my first video with you. I gave this talk a few months ago and I thought it might be helpful.